I appreciate this so much, thank you.

I’ve always found the asking-for-studies approach to backfire. Doctors seem to never be able to cite studies, but they’ll name a major org like the American Heart Association or the American Diabetes Association and say that these orgs provide “gold standards” or some BS, and to look on their website for research.

I’m a big fan of “yes, and?” Nowadays. Like, “okay, I understand that you think weight loss will cure my condition, but weight loss doesn’t happen overnight, so are you saying I have to live with this problem for the next year or 5 years or 10 years that its going to take for me to lose weight? Or is there anything we can do today that will help me?”

Sometimes I get sassy, and say “how much weight do I have to lose to prove to you this isn’t caused by weight?” And “since it’s going to take over a year to lose the weight you’re talking about, are you refusing to treat me for the next year and change?”

Being sassy has always backfired.

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I love this so much as it’s what I’m constantly dealing with again all of a sudden. I had great care for a few years and now I’m getting the run- around again where I can never do enough or lose enough weight to qualify for the surgeries they told me I needed. I said, okay let’s get going and got through 2 of 5 before I my next surgery was mysteriously cancelled by a hospital clerk or admin. I couldn’t appeal anything b/c it wasn’t insurance who denied it. It was the hospital. So, then I spent months trying to figure out who to talk to. Not only is it the constant weight bias barriers, but now the shame and stress of never doing or knowing enough to report back to the whole host of providers waiting for me to know what I can’t know because of the hospital’s black hole. I sound like an idiot who can’t figure out what’s going on. The pain doctor tells me sugar and pain are connected. I haven’t eaten sugar in forever. But people don’t believe me, I guess. I have a right to be believed and treated with respect and am struggling with that, and it turns into a downward spiral pretty quickly. Anyway, great help and I just love this developing community.

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